Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
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