We're facebook friends in real life
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
