Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
