Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize