dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
