I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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