Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
