Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
