Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
