Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
