Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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