if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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