The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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