We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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