you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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