Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize