i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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