My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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