...so i touched it.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
