Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think my moral compass just broke
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