My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
