Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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