she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
