the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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