He is an equal opportunity slut.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
