No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
