just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I think my moral compass just broke
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
