i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I would fuck him just for his dog
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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