every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
