last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
