it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
