pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
