So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
