How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Don't make out with my wife yet
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
