I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
