I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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