Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
