Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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