Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
