last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
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i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
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Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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