They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I have peed in a lot of sinks
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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