I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize