Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
