i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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