I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Randomize
