I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize