Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
