Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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