ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
