pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
