One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
