I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
