Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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