3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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