Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
