im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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