You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
