There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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