Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
