You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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