Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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