Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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