ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
