I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
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please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize