we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
