how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
