what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
