So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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