we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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